Insomnia/ The Dark Before Daylight

Quietly watching how the skies are perfectly awash of blues.

The salt glistening in the seas like diamonds nestled in emerald silk.

Bathe in sunlight like a summer daydream.

But,

In a moment of stillness, it swiftly shifted to solid darkness. I blinked.

Just a glimpse of a memory I had on repeat.

Silence caved in.

As the minutes passed, the silence is already deafening. Blankly staring at the dark, the streaks of moonlight steadily illuminated the room. Vaguely at the distance, a pale resemblance is staring at me in the dark. A mirror. I stared back on my reflection, the dark circles under my eyes have become too prominent against my pale skin.

My insomnia is getting worse. I can’t sleep. Again.

Sometimes I am seeing things no one can see, like shadows of little butterflies stealthily fluttering out of the dark, then vanish in cold thin air. These little butterflies do show up when I am alone. I smiled at the thought of it.

I know I am at the brink of losing my mind. I’ll have to add another day to one of my sleepless nights. Though, I lost count how many days had been.

“Sleep requires peace.” They said. So, I held on to the memories that made me feel at peace.

I never gave sleep medications a try. Because I am afraid that maybe one day, I would never wake up.

But as I lay awake tonight, I stare at the starless skies and only the moon shines bright. I wonder what it’s like to be above watching city lights glitter at dark or how the waves of the seas pulled by the moon and the sun. But if I can’t sleep tonight, I have the vast skies and the solitary moon to watch through the night.